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How To Survive And Grow After A Divorce

Posted by: Dr. Granat on December 6, 2009

Recently, a writer asked me to write a forward for book which is due out in about six weeks.  Here is a copy of that  piece. 




   Several weeks ago, Leo Averbach emailed me from Israel and asked me if I would  be willing to write a foreword for his new book.  Apparently, he had read some of my writings about marriage, family and divorce and thought I would be a good person to read and critique his manuscript.


         I was quite flattered, but I did not know this man and I knew nothingabout his writing ability, his story or his life.

          When I received the book, I was intrigued, captivated and impressedfrom the start.  Leo is a fascinating fellow with an interesting history.   He  has written a sensitive, insightful, detailed and inspiring book about the pain and the growth which a  person can experience as they go through the end of a relationship, the divorce process and the healing process.  

        Breakup: Enduring Divorce Hell is a personalized, detailedchronological account of the author’s sadness, depression, conflicts, insights, and last but not least, his growth and his discovery of peace and contentment.

        The author does an excellent job of depicting the range of feelings andexperiences which a person is apt to have as they mourn the loss of their partner and their relationship.  In addition, Averbach shows us how earlier losses in one’s life can make the loss of a spouse particularly painful.

         The author tells how his work with two therapists furnished him with much insight and expedited the healing process for him.  People who are curious or uninformed about the therapeutic process and its role in helping people recover from a divorce, will learn a lot from the author’s accounts of sessions with his two skilled and compassionate therapists.

          This is a well-written and inspiring book about love, marriage, growthand a sensitive and wise person’s search for tranquility.

          In America, almost one out of every two marriages end in a divorce.Consequently, I believe this book can have real value for millions ofmen and women who are struggling with this significant  psychological challenge.

       Breakup: Enduring Divorce Hell is not just another self-help book.  It isbeautifully written in the form of a personal journal and filled with theauthor’s thoughts, feelings and engaging candor.  It is a sincere, honest and intelligent work which demonstrates the emotional benefits of journaling one’s life.   

            This fine book is also a must read for lawyers who represent peoplein matrimonial matters.

            Likewise, therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists and social workers who counsel divorcing individuals or people who are involved in or getting out of dysfunctional relationships can learn a lot about how these struggles can impact patients in these transitional states.

              This book can be a powerful healer for a person who has beenwounded by the termination of a relationship or by the divorce experience and who wants some help in moving forward with his or her life.

  Jay P. Granat, Ph.D. is a Psychotherapist and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in River Edge, New Jersey.  Dr. Granat has appeared inmajor media outlets including The New York Times, Good Morning America, The BBC, The CBC and New York Magazine.  He writes a weekly self-help column for four New Jersey newspapers and has developed a number of self-help programs. He has been a guest columnist for Dr. Granat’s dissertation was on marital disintegration and he has counseled hundreds of people struggling with relationship issues.  He now spends much of this time counseling athletes and their families and he  is the Founder of and

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